The Dating Scene

Well as you may know, I have been on the search for "The One" since I was, about 6 years old. I used to dream of getting married and having babies. I wanted five kids. I know! I am shocked too! :)
Dating has changed some since I was in high-school. Back in the day, you knew the person from school, the mall, church etc. The older I got, you met someone through a friend. Married people love to set up single people. I am not opposed to this either. My parents met on a blind date, and they have been together since the early 1970's. I have been set up on a few blind dates, and though they didn't work out, they are kind of fun. Now you pretty much have to log onto the computer to find your mate.
There was a movie I saw as a kid called 'Weird Science', where two high-school geeks used their computer, a picture of a pin-up and I believe a barbie doll to create the perfect woman. It worked, she was beautiful. The other boys wanted her, the girls all hated her. The moral of the story, was, you can't create your mate. The boys each found a geeky girl, and the hot chick wandered off at the end of the movie.
Internet dating reminds me of this movie. There are a MILLION websites out there, where you can 'create' your soul-mate.
First, finding the right website. There are websites that are lifestyle specific, geek dating, mormon, catholic, witch, marriage minded people, cowboy and cowgirl, 40's and older dating, big and beatiful, black dating, asian dating, and the list just goes on.
Then there are the more general dating sites, after taking a personality questionnairre your 29 dimensions will match you with your soul-mate, or Dr. Phil can help you on another website, there is true dating (which is a free-for all ((intimitate encounters, he, she and I dating))**. Some websites charge, some are free.
Once you pick your website, you fill out your profile. It usually gives you a paragraph to describe you and your likes and dislikes, what your looking for etc. You fill out your stats, hair color, eye color, body dimensions, smoking or non-smoking, where you live (general location, not exact). Now comes the part where you get to say who your looking for. You can get really detailed. You can pick his race; religion; smoking and drinking habits (how much, if at all); height; weight; income; job description; location; personality type; likes and dislikes; astrological sign; who he lives with; how many children or none; if he is single (should be); divorced; widowed; or my favorite, separated. Wait, does it really ask if separated is ok?? Yes it does. Because I would love to date a guy that is legally bound to another woman.
Now if you get too specific your search will be limited. So if you go out there looking, don't get too happy checking the boxes trying to find single male, 34 years old, blonde hair, blue eyes, fit, leo, doctor, $250,000 income, non-smoking, non-drinking, christian, 2 children, living alone, drives mercedes and likes to clean house, and cook dinner. He isn't out there. He just isn't.
Now once you do find someone who is compatible with your "requirements" and you meet his, you will set up to meet. There are a million ways to go about the first meeting. Usually, lunch or dinner at a restaurant. I get concerned when a guy suggests we meet for coffee. Which says to me, committment is a struggle. He is unwilling to sit through a meal if you end up not meeting his expectations. Or he is cheap. Either way, I am old-fashioned and like to be taken out on a real date.
This is my logic behind dating. I believe a guy should pay for the first date, as well as plan it. After the first date, both parties need to make the effort. I just put the first date on the guy because, marriage tends to fall on the woman. Now some of you married people may think, Oh Jen, what do you know? Well I know married people, and 99% of the married couples, the woman takes care of the house, kids, yard, laundry, grocery shopping, dr. appt's, paying bills, cooking dinner, buying clothes for the family etc. I am not saying husbands don't do anything, they have their roles. To make us happy. Alright, this is sounding a little one sided. Marriage is a partnership yada yada yada. The point is, I feel men should take the lead when dating. I am not asking for anything to difficult here.
I am old-fashioned, and I have had to learn to adjust to the "modern" times. Dating rules aren't anything like they used to be. Now its all over the place. Who pays? Coffee, lunch, dinner, hang gliding? A lot of guys write they are looking for friends. Really? Your on a DATING website looking for friends? Apparently these guys only want female friends. Interesting. There is actually websites if your looking for strictly friends, try those websites. I realize the idea of a guy bringing me flowers and taking me out for a night on the town are slim. More and more, its lets meet for drinks and see what happens.
I have met quite a few guys from the internet over the years. All of which were nice guys, but some just weren't quite compatible with me, or I with them. I am still searching, even though about every other month I declare "I'm done looking, I am just going to settle for spinsterhood." I used to joke that I would get married in a nursing home. I would be sitting in my wheelchair and some old guy would wheel next to me, and it would be instant love. This may be how it happens for me. I do believe that my little girl dream will come true, and I will get married. I hope that it is sooner than later. But I can't control destiny. I just try to enjoy the adventure that is life.
My parents created a fun and loving home for my brothers and I, and continue to do so. I hope to find a love that is as strong as theirs. Through good and bad they have made it, and they love each other, faults and all. They have shown me, that love exists, it isn't always going to be easy, but with communication, compassion and respect, a marriage will stay strong and last forever.