Stephen Colbert for President!!

I LOVE STEPHEN COLBERT!! I can't say it enough. He is handsome, smart and wickedly funny. I read his book 'I am America, and so can you.' Its the best book. It could be considered insulting, but if your insulted, then you just don't get truthiness. :) He is a comedic genius and everyone should love him as much as I do.
He has segments on some of his shows, called Threat Down. He lists things that are of threat. Kind of self-explanatory. One of his major threat downs, are bears. He is terrified of them. I can see how he would be scared.
A while ago I had the pleasure of visiting Bear World with Sharon and Marie (two awesome friends, that will be annoyed by my blog page). We were a little hesitant to drive into the bear enclosure but we read the rules to ensure our safety. No honking, was one of the rules, UNLESS you are being attacked. Hmmm.... and how often does that happen?? It didn't say on the rules. Well we ventured into the bear enclosure, and sure enough, saw some bears. Big massive bears, but they weren't interested in us, in the little blue honda, no they were inthralled by the curator truck full of tourists. Bears love tourists, especially when they are served by the meals on wheels program. We made our way through the winding path, watching the bears lumber around, in their man made habitat. If your wondering it was nice place to live. Guarunteed meals, water to play in, and tourists around every corner.
They have a petting zoo, which consisted of a pig, a fawn, some billy goats, and some chickens. They have cubs also, not in the petting zoo, but nearby. They are cute. Very animated. They also have kiddie rides where you can ride a creepy clown coaster, or a ride similar to the magic carpet ride at lagoon, but smaller and it was painted like a tree with alien grapes. I don't get it, but I don't think kids care so much, as long as the ride is fun. After we were filled with glee of having survived the bear enclosure in the honda, and having eaten bear fries, while watching baby cubs frolick in the pen, we decided to ride the curator truck and feed the bears. This of course once we realized they aren't serving tourists to the bears.
So we climbed into the back of the curator truck and headed on down to the bear enclosure. Oh, first, the food they serve the bears was mini powdered donuts, bagels of different kinds, bread and the coveted twinkie. What a diet! haha!! So the driver took us to a particular spot in the bear enclosure, and we got to throw the food to the bears, who clapped for more. It was cute. But the reality is, these are man eating creatures, and they are massive. Their paws are HUGE!! But even still, seeing a bear clap for a donut gave me a slight sense of false security. They really are precious. The food was gone, the tour was done. So my friends and I decided to take the little honda through the bear enclosure ONE more time before we headed home. Here we go girls, their bellies are full of sugary goodness, and there is another curator truck serving another batch of sugary goodness in a few minutes. As we are driving through, one of the smaller bears (a teen) started to walk across the street, so we stopped to let him pass. But he was attracted to the beautiful blue honda, or perhaps the meal on wheels. The bear licked the car bumper, nope that wasn't the delicious smell, so he jumped onto the hood of the car, and took a peak inside, I think. I sort of panicked and closed my eyes. I had my camera, and I wish VERY much so that I took a picture, but there was a bear on the car, with a windshield protecting me. It suddenly hit me, HE HAS FOUND HIS NEXT MEAL! He turned around and sat down on the window, contemplating no doubt who to eat first, Sharon, Marie, or I. Toying with us, he turned around and climbed onto the roof of the car. I kept praying that the roof was strong enough to hold a bear. We finally remembered the rules, honk your horn if you need a ranger. However, when in this moment, the thought of honking the horn and angering the bear, makes for a tough dilemma. I believe Sharon honked the horn. Up the road a ranger comes along in his little suburu jeep mobile. Wait, he stopped about 20 yards away. WHY?? Oh goodness something bad is happening outside the car. More bears approaching? I don't know. I am too afraid to take my eyses from the jeep. The jeep finally came by, and the kid behind the wheel says, 'get off the car, c'mon.' The bear slowly climbs off the back of the car, game over I suppose. We drive on. As we exit the bear enclosure, a girl hands us a ticket to go to the photo booth. They took a picture of us with a bear on our car. That silly bear was just looking for a photo opt. Well it worked.